Summer Fun-Living, Learning and Growing.
In my opinion, summer is the season not only with the worst weather here on the "mainland" , but with the most tendency to provide me with crash courses on life's lessons mostly learned the hard way. This usually forces me to re-evaluate and clean house. During the summer season, I tend to be faced with more tests that define who I am and help me realize what type of person I want to be as I am ultimately guided in my life's path. Summer is never an easy time and it can sometimes appear that things are more difficult than it has to be. Maybe it's just the 100 degree plus weather that has me more impatient and edgy. Or could the "wrenches in my gears" in the summer helps pave the way for the changes that Fall leads to?
This summer was the longest break I've ever taken from Jiu-Jitsu in all of my time training. I am sure that anyone who has been injured in Jiu-Jitsu and is as in love with Jiu-Jitsu as I am, understands how it feels to suddenly eliminate a huge part of your life. In a strange way not training made me feel like I'd lost a sense of my identity. The worst part for me was how much I wanted to train but couldn't. I missed the physical and mental challenges Jiu-Jitsu presents. I also really missed seeing my Jiu-Jitsu family everyday and no work out can compare to Jiu-Jitsu. It leaves some big shoes to fill.
Without training, I really felt lost for a while. At first, my whole routine was thrown out of whack. It was strange having so much free time that used to be occupied with training. I didn't know what to do with myself. Then I decided to dive head first into working on my business and working on the many other projects I've taken on. Why not become a work-a-holic! I love what I do! If anything, I can say it's been an extremely productive summer.
Now, I am grateful for this time away from training which has given me time to think. No matter how hard it was to be a "bench warmer" all summer, I realize that taking a break from Jiu-Jitsu was exactly what I needed to do. It allowed me to re-assess and evaluate several areas of my life. I learned a lot about myself and my weakness which led to me finding more of my inner strength. In the end, this has aided me in making some of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.
These decisions have forced me to open myself up and provided me with so many more opportunities that I couldn't have otherwise had. It's definitely been an eye opening experience. I've been learning more about Jiu-Jitsu, the history, lineage, principles, beliefs, politics and shared personal outlooks. I've learned more about what to look for when "shopping" for a school, my preferences, my values and learning more about what components make up the best school and team for me. I've been meeting new people in the community and best of all I am learning. I won't lie, some days I still wake up and wonder if I made the right choice. I've never been good at accepting change. It's scary being out on my own with out my "family". I feel like a freshman in college away from home for the first time. It's both scary and exciting at the same time.
The leaves are dropping off the trees giving the illusion of fall, but looks can be deceiving in Texas. Due to the massive drought everything is withering up and dying. But there is hope. The other week we finally had our first break in the 100 degree marathon and dare I say it actually felt like Fall. The cool, crisp Fall night air made me frisky. My stomach was full of butterflies fluttering about in anticipation of something. What could it be!?!! The only thing that can be for certain is change.