It was just a matter of time for me. I lived like this for years None of us are invincible, but I thought I was. All of us can go from living our lives like "normal", then BAM! your life is turned upside down. Before you know it you are staring up at the world wondering how you have fallen so low. I never truly understood how quickly one can plummet to the bottom until I found out the hard way, as I usually do. I ignored all the warning signs. Not only that but I arrogantly gave the “finger” to everything and everyone that tried to warn me.
For me, I sat for a while and let the darkness take hold. Then I realized it was all lies. Once you start to feel sorry for yourself it is a vicious cycle. You lie to yourself like crazy. You find more and more, and countless reasons to kick yourself in the ass and keep yourself down there. Happiness, what the hell is that!!! You give up on any hope you have of anything ever changing. You believe that your life is a piece of shit and it will never go back to what it was. Because of a combination of horrible anti-seizure drugs, I hit the lowest of lows. I was 100% ready to check out. Why not? I was already out, so F..it, why not make it permanent?